Natalie Zed: Defying Gravity

Monday, September 07, 2009

Tips for Surviving a Weekend in Essex County

Dos!

-- Eat all the delicious, free food offered to you regardless of the meat content or calorie count. You need those precious nutrients for the long winter ahead.

-- Make sure you have an awesome friend who will invite you to drink beer and hang out on her family's dock into the small hours.

-- Spend at least one night at your little brother's kickass new apartment playing Harry Potter: the Trivia Game.

-- Steal your neighbour's wireless internet. They're nice; the probably don't mind.

-- Bring a flask. That way, the line "This man whan to die for his country; OBLIGE HIM" is even more awesome than you could have imagined.

Don'ts!

-- Do not watch more than four hours of true crime documentaries with Harry Walschots, lest you find yourself in a heated conversation about blood spatter and ballistics.

-- Do not engage in debates with surly former schoolmates who now work at the local Walmart. It is so tempting to try and rescue them but it will only make you crazy.

-- Don't believe your sadistic parents when they try to convince you that you've slept in past 4pm. It's barely noon.

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Natalie Zed updated @ 9:18 PM!!