Natalie Zed: Defying Gravity

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Dear 2009

Let's be friends.

2008 and I never managed to get things right between us. After an amazing 2007, 2008 seemed like ti would be a great years' quieter foil. Instead, it was a marathon of me getting kicked in the head over and over again. I was rejected from PhD programs. My marriage failed. I was more ill in more ways than I had ever been before. I lost friends. I failed, over and over again.

The only triumph, only success I can claim as my own is that I continued to get up again after each blow. Somehow, after some new horrible things happened, I resisted the temptation ( it often seemed like wisdom) to just lay down. My own stubbornness saved me. Each time a little bloodier, a little less steady, I found my feet, nodded to the ref and went another round.

By the end of the year, 2008 and I seemed to have come to a truce. It stopped trying actively to kill me every few minutes, and I settled down some. Or, at least, started over, started building rather than just struggling to endure. By the end, I found an apartment in my city, moved in with the best friends imaginable, and got an amazing job, and started actually having a little bit of fun. I got to spend he first holiday season with my family since 2005. And, right at the very end there, I remembered that once upon a time, I actually enjoyed Winter, and am learning to do so again.

2009, let's not have such a hate-hate relationship. Let's be friends. We can take up crochet and enjoy some of the quieter past times. I will pledge to be less of a psychopath if you keep the Major Life Changes to a bare minimum. Deal?

Okay. Let's rock this town.


Natalie Zed updated @ 5:30 p.m.!!