My cat has raging dandruff.
Ever since I moved from an arid climate to a humid one, Lydia's skin has had trouble adjusting. Initially, she got kind of oily and clumpy in the humidity, and so I took to occasionally wiping her down with a pet wipe , and that seemed to take care of it. In the last month, however, she has gotten quite flaky. Theories for the cause of her dander have included a reaction to the smog and a return to drier atmosphere (not that it's cooler and the heat in the building has been turned on). Whatever the reason, my cat has been distributing skin cells all over the place, and since Gennie C is allergic to cats, this is especially problematic.
After a lot of advice-seeking and hilarious google searches, I came to the sad conclusion that there was no way to get out of it: I would have to give Lydia a bath. I'd also be starting her on a regimen of fish oil (which she loves). But first: the dreaded cat shampoo.
Lily the Pirate bravely offered to assist. I quietly went about turning the water on in the shower, getting it nice and warm, and laying out every towel in the house. Then, quietly, I picked Lydia up, carried her to the bathroom, and popped her in the tub, and hoped I could get the process over with before she realized what had happened.
Well, she realized it, alright. Getting her feet wet was more that she could bear. She crawler up my whole body twice in an attempt to get away from an entire inch of water. In the end, I quickly got her wet, sudsed her outside of the tub, and rinsed her by holding her over the sink while Lily poured warm water over her. She stopped panicking as soon as she was actually out of the tub, but the entire time she wailed like her toenails were being pulled out. George was convinced she was being tortured and hit under the bed in despair.
In the end, I ended up with only half of the skin on my back flayed off, Lydia cleaned herself for two hours, and peace again reigns in Menagerie House. I just hope that we have defeated the Mutant Dandruff, because round two might require a tranquilizer dart and some body armour.