Natalie Zed: Defying Gravity

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Would you be willing to take part in a short survey?

Me: Hello?
Them: Hi there. I'm making phone calls on behalf of Ed Stelmach for the Alberta Progressive Conservative Party?
Me: I see.
Them: Might I ask if you intend to vote for Mr. Stelmach and the Progressive Conservative Party in the upcoming election?
Me: No. I plan to vote NDP.
Them: Alright, thank you for your time. Though might I ask why?
Me: Because my partner calls out Ed Stelmach's name at the moment of orgasm.

Me: Hello?
Them: Hello, is Mr. Schmutz home?
Me: Nope; he's at work. Can I take a message?
Them: Well, perhaps you can help us, Mrs. Schmutz. Would you be willing to take a short survey on behalf of the Progressive Conservative party?
Me: Sure.
Them: Will you be voting PC?
Me: Nah; I'm voting for whichever party's health care platform includes coverage for trepanation.

Me: Hello?
Them: Hi, I'm looking for the man of the house.
Me: He's currently slaving away under the yoke of capitalist oppression.
Them: I...see. Well, um, Mrs. Schmutz, I'm conducting a short survey on behalf of the Progressive Conservative party.
Me: Of course.
Them: Do you know if you and your husband are planning to vote PC?
Me: Indeed not; we're all fetus-eating socialists in this household.
Natalie Zed updated @ 11:49 p.m.!!