Natalie Zed: Defying Gravity

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Happy Halloween from Mr. Stabby

Oh, the entries I could write. I have a full month of backlog to account for (shameful!). But first, a little love letter.

Dear Shitcock Who Slashed Our Tires,

I hope your All Hallow's Eve was delightful. I can just picture you, caught up in the energy and impetuousness of youth, cruising our very nice and quiet neighbourhood in the wee hours, snickering with your friends, a bottle of Two Buck Chuck smuggled from your parents' liquor cabinet under a down jacket reeking of corn nuts. I am sure you saw our humble, maroon Corrolla parked out from the modest bungalow we rent a suite in, and your beady little eyes lit up. "THIS, noble friends," (I image you sawing to your compatriots,) "THIS car is the PERFECT receptacle for our adolescent frustration. LET THE ORGY OF VIOLENCE BEGIN."

So, chuckling with glee, you slashed our front and rear right tire, then scuttled off into the night. Did you quiver with delight as the rubber gave way? Was it ORGASMIC? Did it make this year the BEST HALLOWEEN EVER?

I sure fucking hope so.

I am sure you are young, and therefore temporarily retarded. I am positive you will never read this. But I would like you to know that we are UNIMPRESSED. You are not cool. You are not dangerous. You are an ignorant vandal. I hope you're ashamed of yourself.

Why, might you ask, should you be ashamed of an anonymous act of destructuve fun? Because that car belongs to a systems analyst and a graduate-student-cum-cheesemonger, a young couple with 1.5 modest salaries between them. Because we'll have been without a car for a week because every tire place in the city is booked solid forever as EVERYONE ON EARTH picked RIGHT NOW to winterize their cars. Because it will cost us as much as our rent is to get new tires (and they do need to be replaced -- you did pooch them good, didn't you?), and we'll ahve to take it out of our savings account. A savings account that is supposed to be for our honeymoon, which we still haven't taken nearly a year and a half into our marriage. because it took me 3 and a half hours yesterday to go grocery shopping. Because cases of water are heavy and I am 5'2".

Happy Halloween, asshole.

* * *

You know, I do feel a little better.

In considerably more cheerful news, Neil visited us this month. It was so good too see him again. We'd spent so much time together in the months leading up to his departure for Vancouver that suddenly not having him here, smoking on my back porch, has been very hard. I miss him. I miss just hvaing him near by. He's a friend I can just be around, work around, not necessarily entertain but just enjoy the presence of, and it was great to have that again for a few days. I am terribly excited for his next visit in December. I want to see him swing a Wii controller. I want to play Twilight Princess with him. I was to hear him giggle.

Shortly after Neil left, Shay arrived. Shay has achieved, in her still-newish carreer, a level of success that seems almost mythic to me. Still in her 20s, she's quite high up in the HR chain of command for a major hotel chain, and is based in New York. Visiting us, for her, was a great chance to relax, to play Catan and drink and put her feet up, and it was a great deal of fun to accomodate. We had a great steak dinner and drank too much. She was an awesome houseguest, and I hope and pray we are able to afford to go out and visit her this spring before another promotion sends her off to the West Coast. Although knowing more people in California isn't a terrible proposition either.

October has been a good month. A nearly completely unproductive month, but a very good, fun, positive month. It somehow transformed from Vaguely Autumnal to Profoundly Wintry in the middle of the month, which instead of sending me into a black depression actually got me EXCITED about hot chocolate and mittens. Not having the Winter Hysterics was certainly a welcome change.

Now, easing into November, it's time to get back to work. And I am cheerful about it. Things are picking up in the World of Cheese as all of retail and the food insustry braces itself for Christmas. I have started waking up in the morning with Ideas again. It feels solid and productive and good.

The beginning of Novmeber is also awesome for one more reason: my dad's birthday. Yesterday, he and my mom spent his 59th Birthday in Niagara falls. It was a long drive and they took and long walk and ate dinner at the Keg. By all reports, it sounds like a perfect dad kind of day. I wished I could have hugged him, and told him in person how awesome he is again, but hearing his voice will have to do for a few more months. Next year, we're planning for my parents to spend his sixtieth here with Mike and I. I am already getting just a little excited about everything I want to show him.

Things are good. Despite the tires, my mood will not be flattened. Put a hole in THAT, vandals.
Natalie Zed updated @ 11:03 AM!!