Each of the following statements was actually uttered by either me, my mom, or my dad, which we were in Detroit today visiting the DIA.
While in line at customs, being approached by three very large, very unfriendly-looking agents and one german shepherd: "Look, a drug puppy! Do we have any biscuits?"
"People in Medieval Times didn't have nipples. "
"Which one of your crazy, clock-melting guys did this one?"
"Professor X says sculpture is what you back in to when you're getting a better look at the paintings."
"Does that giant electrical socket symbolize a vagina?"
"I would definitely wear that ring. I'd wear it and a RED HAT."
"Aphrodite is way fatter than me."
That guy has the same mole I have! Do you think we could be related? The beard!"
"That looks like a fajita. Hey! Can we do mexican for lunch? Didn't one of the ladies at target say there was mexican around here somewhere? Fvah-Gie-Tahs!"