Natalie Zed: Defying Gravity

Friday, October 28, 2005

it's time for...adventures in opposite land!

inspired by the brilliant and hilarious K-Juice over at Delicious Juice, this entry will be written in the form of a game entitle Awesome/Not Awesome. ready?

awesome: having some pie leftover from your husband's office potluck to take home and devour later with tea.

not awesome: being accosted by a creepy man wearing a beret and smelling of spoilt milk to grabs the bag your pie was in and starts screaming at you for stealing his...something. I think he was saying "ficus." After a minute you realize he thinks you are someone called Donna, whom you are not, being one Natalie Zed. Trying to tell him this gets him more riled up and more grabby, and your beautiful pie ends up on the sidewalk. Beret dude then sits on the sidewalk, his quarrel with Donna forgot, and begins eating your pie with his fingers right off the asphalt. You flee to the nearest C-Train, cursing the loss of your pie.

awesome: finding kickass new pants as the resale shop. So awesome, they're burgundy. oh yeah.

not awesome: actually breaking the awesome pants in the changing room trying them on. I mean, that seam must have been ready to go anyway, but whenever my ass destroys property, I take it kind of personally. Also, sheepishly returning the now-sploded pants to the girl behind the counter, imagining the ass-slander that will certainly be bandied about as soon as you and The Cheeks are safely out of the store.

awesome: finally getting to your cozy little apartment after a very busy day.

not awesome: realizing at the door that your keys are locked inside your cozy little apartment with the cats, who are crying for you to come inside. So you break in to your apartment (which always makes the husband nervous), praying the neighbors don't call the cops, and before you can seal off your window of choice, the cats escape. After a small chase about the neighbourhood, you get yourself and the cats inside and the window back in it's frame. The cats commence crying for the next hour to be let out again, because being chased around sure was fun.

awesome: deciding to be Tinkerbell for halloween (oh yeah).

not awesome: suddenly becoming self-conscious about revealing tinkerbell outfit due to Ass Of Destruction and subsequent plotting to wear plaid jammies to the Sexy Parties instead. Preferably jammies with feet. Maybe you can go as baby Michael.
Natalie Zed updated @ 6:32 p.m.!!