Natalie Zed: Defying Gravity

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Tubby Dog! and Gerturde!

I think I am just now finally recovering form the Blow Out. Wow. What an AMAZING weekend. Every now and again I just get smacked in the face by the ridiculous amount of positively inhuman talent there is just in this city. It just makes me so darn happy to be here, now, with all this cool stuff going on.

You should all go now and read fiddy's awesome recap of Friday night. Ed gets to be a Count! Fine Shirazes take center stage! It's all so true.

The crowning moment of the weekend, though, was surely at about 2:30 am after the Saturday readings, when a motley assortment of drunks ended up at a new place on 17th called the Tubby Dog. It's a 24 hour diner/lounge featuring a huge projector being used to show old Wonder Woman episodes on the wall. They also serve gourmet hotdogs -- if the word 'gourmet' has an alternate, lesser known meaning as a synonym of 'horrifying.' Ed had something called an Ultimate Gripper -- a bacon-wrapped and deep fried hot dog topped with ketchup, mustard, relish, onions, saurkraut, cheese, bacon bits, a slab of ham, a fried egg, and nacho cheese sauce. Mine, and A-bomb, only had ketchup, mustard, bacon, cheese, mayo, and bbq chips on it. My favourite, sublime, surreal hotdog, ordered by Fiddy's sister, E, was simply thus: an extra-thick hotdog wrapped in Wonderbread rather thna a bun and topped with peanut butter, grape jelly, and Cap'n Crunch cereal. Yes, fair reader. Cap'n crunch. I suggested they also keep Nutella and Marshmallow Fluff on hand and toppings. The manager actually took that down as a note. It was glorious.

The following morning found many of us (shockingly) in various stages of gastronomic anguish. And since nothing helps mend a destroyed stomach like eggs and bacon, a pale and queasy contingent wound up at Dairy Lane for breakfast at the crack of noon the next day. Amid the banana and blueberry pancakes and bacon grease, we were full of grand plans then, so excitied about publishing and writing careers and doing this amazing festival all over again. We did decide, however, that once a year was quite enough. We needed some serious recovery time before trying all of that again. For all weekend, we were drunk! Drunk on poetry! And beer. And, for some of us, white sambuca. yeesh. Blow-Out will forever be associated for me now with the sensation of licorice booze seeping out my aching pores.

In other news...I have a Gertrude! Gertrude is my new computer. For the last few years, I ahve been shackled to a very sweet and serviceable laptop by the name of Earnest, who's modest celeron processor and humble 40 GB harddrive finally had to apologetically admit was juts not enough anymore. Also, the cramped keybpard hurt my wrists, and the puny screen made my eyes ache. Not good fore someone who spends such a ridiculous amount of time staing at a screen and typing.

So after breakfast on Sunday morning, still reeling from my tubby dog, the beautiful and always-generous Tara drove Ed and I to Memery Express to get me something...a little better. Sleeker, quicker, with a friendlier (and healthier) interface. We bought her in pieces...a high end motherboard was absolutely necessary, and the Asus A8N-E seemed to fit the bill. I am just not a pentium girl, and so when I was introduced to a dual-core Athlon 64 3800+, it was love. A gig of memory was a must at that point, especially since the video card I would not be swayed from was a GeForce 6800GT. One of my main complaints with Earn's ever-solid performance was his mere 40GB hard drive...250 GB seemed like an appropriate upgrade. One Creative labs speaker system, CD-RW and DVD-R drives, and floppy drive, and 17" samsung lcd monitor later...she was complete. We took the pieces home and began building.

Construction had to halt around 10 pm Sunday, since I somehow managed to forget to actually take the hard drive home with me (le sigh) but it was couriered over from the next day. I finished building her in the late afternoon on Monday, got am OS on her, and have been tweaking every since.

I named her Gertrude for a few reasons, not the least of those being the fact I have Gertrude FcFuzz's song "All for You" from Seussical the Musical stuck in my head *all day*. Also, because she is breathtaking. She is sleek. She is beautiful. I thought she'd be a boy at the beginning, but this rig has ovaries and isn't afraid to use them. Her full-sized case bristles with usb ports, many tastefully hidden, and she is aglow with subtle blue leds -- she's a lady that knows how to dress to her utmost advantage. Her hum is content and deeply powerful, like a happy tiger. She is Her Majesty, Gloriana, more resplendant in a braid of cabling that diamonds. How could she be anything but a Gertrude, a Queen Mother?

I am just a little smitten. She is so tweak. She kisses back with static. Yep, it's love.
Natalie Zed updated @ 3:50 PM!!